tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-311045432024-03-07T13:29:00.044-08:00Preposterous PonderingsAbsure ideas and thoughts pop into my head at the oddest times... So I thought why not post them as a random thought for the day... Comments are not only appreciated, they're encouraged.
Disclaimer: All the Preposterous Ponderings are completely my own unless otherwise noted.EmBeehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11724526923343865256noreply@blogger.comBlogger115125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-31104543.post-31784858013548948662010-03-09T18:42:00.000-08:002010-03-09T18:45:34.907-08:00From today's paper<div style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-size:130%;"><span style="font-family: arial;">If you try to fail and succeed, which have you done?<br /><br /></span></span><div style="text-align: left;"><span style="font-family: arial;font-size:100%;" >That's one of those questions I liken to a dog chasing it's tail... Or like that 'Lambchop' tune, 'This is the song that never ends"</span><br /><span style="font-size:130%;"><span style="font-family: arial;"></span></span></div></div>EmBeehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11724526923343865256noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-31104543.post-82526167549009767692010-02-15T19:48:00.000-08:002010-02-15T19:52:04.192-08:00Marriage Advice.... Really?<span style="font-family: arial;">How is it?</span><br /><span style="font-family: arial;">Why is it?</span><br /><br /><span style="font-family: arial;">Alec Baldwin is on a show giving marriage advice?</span><br /><br /><span style="font-family: arial;">Didn't he go through one of the nastiest divorces in Hollywood?</span><br /><br /><span style="font-family: arial;">Thanks Alec, but I'll pass, I think you're a douche.</span>EmBeehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11724526923343865256noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-31104543.post-13044282694156700842010-01-06T09:52:00.000-08:002010-01-06T09:54:09.195-08:00Baby it's cold outside...<span style="font-family: arial;">You know it's cold when you think twice about shaving your legs and underarms because of the insulation that extra hair just might be providing.</span>EmBeehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11724526923343865256noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-31104543.post-74713134777504631552009-12-22T08:56:00.000-08:002009-12-22T09:00:07.891-08:00Dontcha' Hate It...<span style="font-family: arial;">When you're trying to peel the price tag off of an item and despite your futile attempts at digging and picking the only part that remains is the portion with the price written on it?</span>EmBeehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11724526923343865256noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-31104543.post-78213724692363380412009-11-15T19:42:00.000-08:002009-11-15T19:47:04.843-08:00Closing Forever?<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgN4KCD3uZGroySxkDeaIdm3GLuBRW_TudMwlVqgQ3Z6O20QzG7kvtg-O-4p0BS1MhBDXx0MeYJr-pScBH_juGOdQlqTTBjUwzTqNkNQFhJuKmhKVYN6CpNJWo_t3l6A8rVpWU3iA/s1600/rug+store.jpg"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 278px; height: 237px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgN4KCD3uZGroySxkDeaIdm3GLuBRW_TudMwlVqgQ3Z6O20QzG7kvtg-O-4p0BS1MhBDXx0MeYJr-pScBH_juGOdQlqTTBjUwzTqNkNQFhJuKmhKVYN6CpNJWo_t3l6A8rVpWU3iA/s400/rug+store.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5404542775838969442" border="0" /></a><br /><span style="font-family:arial;">Here's a Challenge....</span> <span style="font-family:arial;"><br /><br />See if you can locate a Oriental Rug Store that ISN'T Going Out of Business.</span>EmBeehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11724526923343865256noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-31104543.post-34577287500923775972009-11-06T12:03:00.000-08:002009-11-06T12:13:10.224-08:00Dressed to impress?<span style="font-size:130%;"><span style="font-family: arial;">How come Mickey wears shorts without a shirt (And what's with the gloves, is he some kind of germaphobe?)...</span><br /><a style="font-family: arial;" onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjG5rKzUr8MqPbPNzPtTMl5ywtGjNNgu40cRMyrH2SMLtScHdztcIsMG6hshKq8eEuw0K6hAH1q8BL2vuKFquyE5VubOJEH-QmMkubo-bYVhU24ufSClHctwCSELEvUJTYJGIkNSA/s1600-h/mickey-mouse-10.jpg"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 279px; height: 400px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjG5rKzUr8MqPbPNzPtTMl5ywtGjNNgu40cRMyrH2SMLtScHdztcIsMG6hshKq8eEuw0K6hAH1q8BL2vuKFquyE5VubOJEH-QmMkubo-bYVhU24ufSClHctwCSELEvUJTYJGIkNSA/s400/mickey-mouse-10.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5401084296419096226" border="0" /></a><span style="font-family: arial;">And Donald gets a shirt but NO pants? What's that about? No wonder he's pissed!</span><br /><a style="font-family: arial;" onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjv1vNhUuN7ScXyPhO9f_8m6Sa8DWwal9Nf-FSymu_cL7pY3GAFdLrLpkzkRSge5X1soiPz7mwlvaLiVn60co72Ko-SH4BNAc6yubveK_DgnmJQc3rYam4uaxbtSMln4fBpD-I7KQ/s1600-h/DonaldDuck.gif"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 400px; height: 244px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjv1vNhUuN7ScXyPhO9f_8m6Sa8DWwal9Nf-FSymu_cL7pY3GAFdLrLpkzkRSge5X1soiPz7mwlvaLiVn60co72Ko-SH4BNAc6yubveK_DgnmJQc3rYam4uaxbtSMln4fBpD-I7KQ/s400/DonaldDuck.gif" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5401085196230811026" border="0" /></a></span>EmBeehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11724526923343865256noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-31104543.post-17360557213299571772009-10-03T12:11:00.000-07:002009-10-03T12:15:11.369-07:00Looking in the wrong direction<span style="font-family: arial;">When I beep the horn 'politely' at the person sitting in front of me at a light, who doesn't seem to notice said light has changed to green... Why, I'd like to ask, does the person in front of me, first look in their rear view mirror at me BEFORE they step on the damn gas and get a move on?</span>EmBeehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11724526923343865256noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-31104543.post-61175526495615252572009-08-27T07:54:00.001-07:002009-08-27T07:56:17.203-07:00A Major Annoyance<span style="font-family: arial;">Have you ever noticed that the most insufferable people are those who display the character traits you most dislike about yourself?</span>EmBeehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11724526923343865256noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-31104543.post-360436632559305432009-07-17T11:23:00.000-07:002009-07-17T11:27:50.247-07:00Rude Awakening<span style="font-family: arial;">Me: *peacefully drifting in and out of early morning sleep.* </span><br /><br /><span style="font-family: arial;">Husband: "Hey."</span><br /><br /><span style="font-family: arial;">Me: *eyes flutter open*</span><br /><br /><span style="font-family: arial;">Husband: "Hey, you awake?"</span><br /><br /><span style="font-family: arial;">Me: "Huh, wha?"</span><br /><br /><span style="font-family: arial;">Husband: "The dog threw up on the carpet (light beige), I cleaned it up but there's a big stain (dark brown), you wanna take care of that?"</span><br /><br /><span style="font-family: arial;">AAaaannnnnnd cue the start of my day.</span>EmBeehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11724526923343865256noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-31104543.post-14790788956228087682009-07-07T14:12:00.000-07:002009-07-07T14:26:04.189-07:00Slacker?<span style="font-family: arial;">I'm not going to delve into any deep religious issues here but I wanted to take a moment to point out the bumper sticker I saw today:</span><br /><br /><a style="font-family: arial;" onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiLQvcWSQvSIpC5KqvNfb5y-ue_ShcjMPI2l8syoxrlMHlzHTQxuh7vpjn9FjJ4aYWbLO_nI9wjqIK5PRjAZsCvp9fVWqPq8DDW3GSfDxhL8QoEIf1W7iKaSGCPD0ZVZAdsDG3NDg/s1600-h/bumper+sticker.jpg"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 280px; height: 280px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiLQvcWSQvSIpC5KqvNfb5y-ue_ShcjMPI2l8syoxrlMHlzHTQxuh7vpjn9FjJ4aYWbLO_nI9wjqIK5PRjAZsCvp9fVWqPq8DDW3GSfDxhL8QoEIf1W7iKaSGCPD0ZVZAdsDG3NDg/s320/bumper+sticker.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5355829671562262882" border="0" /></a><span style="font-family: arial;">So am I to understand that it's important to 'LOOK BUSY' ie. give the appearance like you've BEEN doing the Lord's work, when in reality you've spent the better part of your life as a slack-ass... But NOW... Oh hey, looky there... Jesus just pulled up and he's gettin' ready to walk in the office and BOY is he going to be pissed when he finds you with your feet up on the desk, texting your BFF and taking extended coffee breaks, even though that 'Sacred Blessings' account is due tomorrow.</span><br /><br /><span style="font-family: arial;">Here's an idea! How 'bout you do the job you're supposed to do, whether or not some all powerful entity is looking over your shoulder?</span>EmBeehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11724526923343865256noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-31104543.post-4336900731744238072009-07-03T15:43:00.000-07:002009-07-03T16:12:30.856-07:00This Sure As Hell Ain't New York City or Milan Dahling<span style="font-family: arial;">Woman spotted in town today wearing:</span><br /><ol style="font-family: arial;"><li>A Mullet hair-style pulled into a ponytail.</li><li>Oversize cut-off shorts.</li><li>Spongebob t-shirt.</li></ol><span style="font-family: arial;">Now </span><span style="font-style: italic; font-family: arial;">that's</span><span style="font-family: arial;"> class... Mid-Atlantic style.</span>EmBeehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11724526923343865256noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-31104543.post-1159513104776736352009-06-25T21:07:00.000-07:002009-06-25T21:13:45.291-07:00Word Play<span style="font-family:arial;">If you're the type who needs a cup of coffee to get moving each morning do you think that means your in for a .... Brewed Awakening?</span><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiSzxnkMPl4982pGi-YV5gMv8dhyphenhyphenAylvowk3Azu8H2WpT4UdtuH1jVKvyjgX5OPNA8SnqlRFFa6-Jx7kqkv2xHmPJGCSFhQXVPnn5DAbKYMS4qTRxjgEp5-enr2Frn9F77juA_zdQ/s1600-h/Wake+Up+%26+Smell....jpg"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 280px; height: 320px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiSzxnkMPl4982pGi-YV5gMv8dhyphenhyphenAylvowk3Azu8H2WpT4UdtuH1jVKvyjgX5OPNA8SnqlRFFa6-Jx7kqkv2xHmPJGCSFhQXVPnn5DAbKYMS4qTRxjgEp5-enr2Frn9F77juA_zdQ/s320/Wake+Up+%26+Smell....jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5351484592978352786" border="0" /></a>EmBeehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11724526923343865256noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-31104543.post-38957773432105544702009-06-16T19:12:00.000-07:002009-06-16T19:16:09.530-07:00Awesome Flame Shooting Mini-Van?<div style="margin: 0px auto 10px; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhn74r0C-eqT5IOyw4mY47HAgdH3DyyvBBo9iB5RGj571ri-6exEqlKhuIg1npvVXwdddKsdIpSXZwAFNnROtPNEWGkZFBIPCZW36FTGbaiXiiViovpm-_Oywxy-q_6XOxB53hm6Q/s1600-h/IMG_0023.JPG"><img alt="" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhn74r0C-eqT5IOyw4mY47HAgdH3DyyvBBo9iB5RGj571ri-6exEqlKhuIg1npvVXwdddKsdIpSXZwAFNnROtPNEWGkZFBIPCZW36FTGbaiXiiViovpm-_Oywxy-q_6XOxB53hm6Q/s400/IMG_0023.JPG" border="0" /></a> </div><span style="font-family: arial;">Or just some fancy sidewalk chalk artwork?</span><br /><span style="font-family: arial;">Thanks, Nature Girl... You make a Mom Van seem so cool!</span><br /><span style="font-family: arial;">Call me </span><span style="font-family: arial;font-size:180%;" >'Ghost Rider'</span><br /><div style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://picasa.google.com/blogger/" target="ext"><img src="http://photos1.blogger.com/pbp.gif" alt="Posted by Picasa" style="border: 0px none ; padding: 0px; background: transparent none repeat scroll 0% 50%; -moz-background-clip: -moz-initial; -moz-background-origin: -moz-initial; -moz-background-inline-policy: -moz-initial;" align="middle" border="0" /></a></div>EmBeehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11724526923343865256noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-31104543.post-81274400441426735762009-06-08T11:28:00.000-07:002009-06-08T11:35:13.713-07:00Sassy Low Carb Treat<span style="font-family:arial;">I buy the cheap store brand of low fat yogurt, in order to maintain a daily low carb count.</span><br /><br /><span style="font-family:arial;">When I pry open the foil lid, every... single... time... the container spits yogurt on me.</span><br /><br /><span style="font-family:arial;">I think it's the yogurts way of saying, "HA! Screw you... YOU </span><span style="font-style: italic;font-family:arial;" >have </span><span style="font-family:arial;">to eat yogurt!"</span>EmBeehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11724526923343865256noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-31104543.post-36939565939098788032009-05-19T05:32:00.000-07:002009-05-19T05:45:06.447-07:00Misrepresentation*<span style="font-size:85%;"><span style="font-family:arial;">*sorry guys, this one's for the girls.</span><br /><br /></span><span style="font-family:arial;">I don't know why they call it a 'Hot Flash?'</span> <span style="font-family:arial;">It's more like a slow building molten heat that radiates out from your very core.</span><br /><br /><span style="font-family:arial;">A better term might be:</span><br /><span style="font-family:arial;"><br />Hellfire Dance</span> <span style="font-family:arial;"><br /><br />or:</span><br /><br /><span style="font-family:arial;">Lava Pop</span> <br /><br /><span style="font-family:arial;">or:</span> <span style="font-family:arial;"><br /></span><br /><span style="font-family:arial;">Bonfire Boil</span> <span style="font-family:arial;"><br /><br />or my personal favorite:</span> <span style="font-family:arial;"><br /><br />Everyone and Everything get the hell away from me, I'm gonna BLOW!</span> <a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjUQ1oOo-InV3LNeGA6vVUyJfieSetJEbBT0n0OiOk9n3-cbFpKd1CxzuriSfKMZW3DuMXSuunwZi80nPJEswXfq_ec5dvuNujvseDAPnePA8FaaL2xkc3OEpCaTmVHU-3B_6IFug/s1600-h/VolcanoStructure.jpg"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 320px; height: 246px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjUQ1oOo-InV3LNeGA6vVUyJfieSetJEbBT0n0OiOk9n3-cbFpKd1CxzuriSfKMZW3DuMXSuunwZi80nPJEswXfq_ec5dvuNujvseDAPnePA8FaaL2xkc3OEpCaTmVHU-3B_6IFug/s320/VolcanoStructure.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5337514837328085538" border="0" /></a>EmBeehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11724526923343865256noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-31104543.post-20241148586381118402009-05-14T13:03:00.000-07:002009-05-14T13:22:51.656-07:00USPS - Giving you a little bit more<span style="font-family:arial;">Postal rate went up again... </span><span style="font-family: arial;font-size:78%;" >Hooray!</span> <span style="font-family:arial;"><br /><br />The following is a list of stamps I currently have on hand:</span> <span style="font-family:arial;"><br />1 - 1 cent</span><br /><span style="font-family:arial;">2 - 20 cent</span> <span style="font-family:arial;"><br />16 - 39 cent</span> <span style="font-family:arial;"><br />56 - 42 cent</span> <span style="font-family:arial;"><br />7 - Forever stamps</span><br /><br /><span style="font-family:arial;">In the past week I've used just about EVERY combination of stamps you can imagine.</span> <span style="font-family:arial;"><br />1-42 + 2-1's (until I ran out of all the 1's except for that last one.)</span> <span style="font-family:arial;"><br />2-39's (until I found that sleeve of 20's)</span> <span style="font-family:arial;"><br />2-42's (until I found that roll of 39's)</span> <span style="font-family:arial;"><br />1-39 + 1-20</span><br /><br /><span style="font-family:arial;">I've used EVERYTHING BUT the Forever stamps... Because you know, they're gonna be good FOREVER!</span> <a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiyFHTjtrjprdqLTHRHgzPjp-uGxZnIKa4pFpFaPO83gOIZuz_1v3_r1wGjYG6E2RC2-RsKwVVaBDTd5ot9cqNNDKttcKDuFddXJdpBoRxfOQeyanWBWTxWFD8EGrahuj8SZmJWTw/s1600-h/20090107_stamps_33.jpg"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 320px; height: 240px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiyFHTjtrjprdqLTHRHgzPjp-uGxZnIKa4pFpFaPO83gOIZuz_1v3_r1wGjYG6E2RC2-RsKwVVaBDTd5ot9cqNNDKttcKDuFddXJdpBoRxfOQeyanWBWTxWFD8EGrahuj8SZmJWTw/s320/20090107_stamps_33.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5335777062654693170" border="0" /></a><br /><span style="font-family: arial;font-size:85%;" >And here's another thought... How come computer keyboards don't have a 'cents' symbol?</span>EmBeehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11724526923343865256noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-31104543.post-23809643941167514142009-05-08T09:52:00.000-07:002009-05-08T10:11:34.566-07:00Ode to the Avocado<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEie4F5wEMZ_AU_Ys8UTGLjNaHEmC7n1MR7ZRc_nFJRib23jB_KqmE-LkGddyq14cbeyz31N1sbSCV5OlktXiUKOfoLG27Ihc-8ANQo5Nea-F_M6Jnt2OYlU-Sf0y80DbCIBOVeiIQ/s1600-h/2007-09_Saveur_Avocado_Love.jpg"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 258px; height: 320px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEie4F5wEMZ_AU_Ys8UTGLjNaHEmC7n1MR7ZRc_nFJRib23jB_KqmE-LkGddyq14cbeyz31N1sbSCV5OlktXiUKOfoLG27Ihc-8ANQo5Nea-F_M6Jnt2OYlU-Sf0y80DbCIBOVeiIQ/s320/2007-09_Saveur_Avocado_Love.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5333499010494809906" border="0" /></a><br /><span style="font-family: arial;">Avocado, Oh!</span><br /><span style="font-family: arial;">Oh Avocado, Oh!</span><br /><span style="font-family: arial;">Oh, how I love your glorious green deliciousness.</span><br /><span style="font-family: arial;">I'm especially fond of you mashed with seasoning and served up on a tortilla chip!</span><br /><span style="font-family: arial;">Oh Guacamole, Oh!</span><br /><span style="font-family: arial;">But I'd better eat it all up in one sitting, or I'm left with a dreadful black mess.</span><br /><span style="font-family: arial;">Eww Avocado, Ewwwwwww!</span>EmBeehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11724526923343865256noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-31104543.post-33986083209426758812009-05-07T10:12:00.000-07:002009-05-07T10:40:22.668-07:00Which house is yours?<span style="font-family:arial;">Oh, my house?</span><br /><span style="font-family:arial;">I'm sorry to say it's the 'poor white trash' looking one...</span><br /><span style="font-family:arial;">You know, the one with the grass up to your knees?</span><br /><span style="font-family:arial;">Hey, don't blame me, it hasn't stopped raining long enough for it to become even remotely dry enough to mow.</span><br /><br /><a style="font-family: arial;" onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj8T6p9Gu_f0IUO1fRZF4IPmqra8nbIe8X2qyzAA9UHL0gRIYcvPldkXocg6Plar1ViYlBEiPJJtvCfREXzg2TPV7oQvuRr-pTXO-AtHpV6APzFeC50GLgPWBQb3gfHN_Jce9-GUA/s1600-h/overgrown-lawn-de.jpg"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 200px; height: 200px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj8T6p9Gu_f0IUO1fRZF4IPmqra8nbIe8X2qyzAA9UHL0gRIYcvPldkXocg6Plar1ViYlBEiPJJtvCfREXzg2TPV7oQvuRr-pTXO-AtHpV6APzFeC50GLgPWBQb3gfHN_Jce9-GUA/s320/overgrown-lawn-de.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5333133514973739250" border="0" /></a><span style="font-family:arial;">Mow it anyway, you say?</span><br /><span style="font-family:arial;">Yesterday I read the following:</span><br /><br /><span style="font-family:arial;">"You never want to mow wet grass the blades will pull instead of cutting. This will cause a fungus in certain grass species which will be very costly not to mention running the risk of the whole lawn dying as the fungus spreads."</span><br /><h1 style="font-family:arial;"><span style="font-weight: normal;font-family:arial;font-size:78%;" >Gee thanks, mikeyandworm @ Yahoo Answers</span><br /></h1><span style="font-family:arial;">This place is starting to look like the Boo Radley house.... Freakin' RAIN!</span>EmBeehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11724526923343865256noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-31104543.post-52729303150717148122009-04-20T17:43:00.000-07:002009-04-20T17:50:12.522-07:00I wonder if they sell Holy Water?<div style="margin: 0px auto 10px; text-align: left; font-family: arial;">So let's say you live in California, and you're thirsty. Rather than investing in a water purification system for your home or a water purifier pitcher for your fridge... You do what any good Californian (who enjoys burning time and gas) does... You head down to the -</div><div style="text-align: left; font-family: arial;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhXo31rUDr2Wdqx8kS3O_8ZI2BOBUTvFZnDIXwTiSkVSisNnI3sYCoFEVjScMMOR9FaZe7JURE_m7eEmLy5fGou6J9AD9iMyTbNSBN_dmm6yD81VgmLUjwgT-DBsDSa-_r22-Hc9A/s1600-h/IMG_7164.JPG"><img alt="" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhXo31rUDr2Wdqx8kS3O_8ZI2BOBUTvFZnDIXwTiSkVSisNnI3sYCoFEVjScMMOR9FaZe7JURE_m7eEmLy5fGou6J9AD9iMyTbNSBN_dmm6yD81VgmLUjwgT-DBsDSa-_r22-Hc9A/s400/IMG_7164.JPG" border="0" /></a><br /><br />That's right, I kid you not... A store dedicated to selling -<br /></div><div style="margin: 0px auto 10px; text-align: left; font-family: arial;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEip52_XkbdoPGdvcUkKgXzc0NQ2tgvwUh8OEHTC645AMyeP0fNXX-A2u6qFCsjqCGg2JB9QW7GmaPfbrAedWipPt_qanO6upfNd4KIVtqOnD3CfacKcLTu4TA2gNEVuuuZhemmKZQ/s1600-h/IMG_7159.JPG"><img alt="" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEip52_XkbdoPGdvcUkKgXzc0NQ2tgvwUh8OEHTC645AMyeP0fNXX-A2u6qFCsjqCGg2JB9QW7GmaPfbrAedWipPt_qanO6upfNd4KIVtqOnD3CfacKcLTu4TA2gNEVuuuZhemmKZQ/s400/IMG_7159.JPG" border="0" /></a> </div><div style="text-align: left; font-family: arial;">For those of you who didn't take a foreign language in high school, that's Water.<br /></div><div style="margin: 0px auto 10px; text-align: left; font-family: arial;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjrZaOnoABFAcGnn63okMeQjbgZhv1_O4SvonnB1AOqfnvooCELPFNbTi1d6B-W3dezndWQfBNM7MNL_oheUg4UhHoJoT9KZnAkIXbyJiAGisHB223K2xKCBtMa_kEc9AaktNJgeQ/s1600-h/IMG_7167.JPG"><img alt="" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjrZaOnoABFAcGnn63okMeQjbgZhv1_O4SvonnB1AOqfnvooCELPFNbTi1d6B-W3dezndWQfBNM7MNL_oheUg4UhHoJoT9KZnAkIXbyJiAGisHB223K2xKCBtMa_kEc9AaktNJgeQ/s400/IMG_7167.JPG" border="0" /></a> </div><div style="text-align: left; font-family: arial;">It's purified AND it's ONLY 25 cents a gallon... Such a DEAL!<br /><br /></div><div style="margin: 0px auto 10px; text-align: left; font-family: arial;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh1v5t7O4ROGfg4GrxnmdBOsbPRbkSDYxGftqkqFEHAAWeDIgrWGDavSM0B8-YdPTqVjxaFHGes-HFehmOFquEdAxkwsStQw9qG3-elQepB9Y_kzQ9mH-JOWymuWX58T6OygH27WQ/s1600-h/IMG_7162.JPG"><img alt="" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh1v5t7O4ROGfg4GrxnmdBOsbPRbkSDYxGftqkqFEHAAWeDIgrWGDavSM0B8-YdPTqVjxaFHGes-HFehmOFquEdAxkwsStQw9qG3-elQepB9Y_kzQ9mH-JOWymuWX58T6OygH27WQ/s400/IMG_7162.JPG" border="0" /></a> </div><div style="text-align: left; font-family: arial;">Hard to believe, but business was Booming!<br /><br />Sorry, but we didn't get a chance to photograph the 'Mobile Airbrush Tanning Unit'... You know, for all your tanning Emergencies!!! Because apparently, if you live in Southern California and you DON'T have a tan? You, my friend, are a social pariah, which means you might as well wear a giant sign emblazoned with the word FAIL!<br /></div><div style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://picasa.google.com/blogger/" target="ext"><img src="http://photos1.blogger.com/pbp.gif" alt="Posted by Picasa" style="border: 0px none ; padding: 0px; background: transparent none repeat scroll 0% 50%; -moz-background-clip: -moz-initial; -moz-background-origin: -moz-initial; -moz-background-inline-policy: -moz-initial;" align="middle" border="0" /></a></div>EmBeehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11724526923343865256noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-31104543.post-10618159445599853992009-04-20T17:23:00.000-07:002009-04-20T17:24:56.138-07:00So you'll forget about the price of gas?<div style="margin: 0px auto 10px; text-align: center;"> </div><span style="font-family: arial;">While pumping gas in Southern California we came across this:</span><br /><br /><a style="font-family: arial;" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgqUdiTLcrVw9iGUD4wU4zLQzBwlIZbwMzDjwuGDvzT1sH1T6WcxeCWHVqMXogRWKNS9jfkDueMnHO7PtZzChS-KIZwHNP-5GmLKEJzISQr8i8QnWiDByPdOeeZjwf_0oe3eOJwnw/s1600-h/IMG_7154.JPG"><img alt="" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgqUdiTLcrVw9iGUD4wU4zLQzBwlIZbwMzDjwuGDvzT1sH1T6WcxeCWHVqMXogRWKNS9jfkDueMnHO7PtZzChS-KIZwHNP-5GmLKEJzISQr8i8QnWiDByPdOeeZjwf_0oe3eOJwnw/s400/IMG_7154.JPG" border="0" /></a><br /><br /><span style="font-family: arial;">A gas pump with a television!</span><br /><br /><span style="font-family: arial;">When you insert the nozzle into your gas tank the t.v. powers up and a friendly gentleman says, "Welcome to Shell, thanks for stopping in." Then the local weather appears on the screen (pictured) and then snippets of 'The Biggest Loser' and 'The Tonight Show' with Jay Leno (the one with Obama... Reruns, figures.) Once the nozzle shuts off, the friendly Shell employee comes back up on the screen and says, "Thanks for choosing Shell and have a nice day." </span><br /><br /><span style="font-family: arial;">Um, Okay?</span><div style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://picasa.google.com/blogger/" target="ext"><img src="http://photos1.blogger.com/pbp.gif" alt="Posted by Picasa" style="border: 0px none ; padding: 0px; background: transparent none repeat scroll 0% 50%; -moz-background-clip: -moz-initial; -moz-background-origin: -moz-initial; -moz-background-inline-policy: -moz-initial;" align="middle" border="0" /></a></div>EmBeehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11724526923343865256noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-31104543.post-63044820387068543052009-04-04T17:41:00.000-07:002009-04-04T17:51:26.950-07:00At The Bookstore<span style="font-family: arial;">Husband and Sister-in-law are searching for a book:</span><br /><br /><span style="font-family: arial;">Husband: "Where do you think it might be?"</span><br /><br /><span style="font-family: arial;">Sister-in-law: "I think we'd find it in the Self-Help section."</span><br /><br /><span style="font-family: arial;">Husband: "And where is that located?"</span><br /><br /><span style="font-family: arial;">Sister-in-law: *looking around* "I'm not really sure."</span><br /><br /><span style="font-family: arial;">Helpful Stranger who overheard conversation: "Oh um, the Self-Help Section is right over there."</span><br /><br /><span style="font-family: arial;">Sister-in-law: *glibly replies to stranger* "I'm sorry but, what part of Self-Help don't you understand?"</span>EmBeehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11724526923343865256noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-31104543.post-32992737191179927172009-04-02T14:48:00.000-07:002009-04-02T14:51:22.332-07:00This Blog<div style="text-align: center;"><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEixuzD1puhcn-C0nv9HDn-GNN5kLWvNO1snGLNkSJYTZRaRcumU2Aext3V5vAOIU3LF8SFR3Da7RHIhXeaqhXN4OUDU2QmAy3Vs1TrbsIz_pfgwnVXA9AqqsaSBYiJF6s_eV_2kpg/s1600-h/one+hand+clapping.jpg"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 286px; height: 320px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEixuzD1puhcn-C0nv9HDn-GNN5kLWvNO1snGLNkSJYTZRaRcumU2Aext3V5vAOIU3LF8SFR3Da7RHIhXeaqhXN4OUDU2QmAy3Vs1TrbsIz_pfgwnVXA9AqqsaSBYiJF6s_eV_2kpg/s320/one+hand+clapping.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5320214846045572242" border="0" /></a><span style="font-family:arial;">It's a lot like the sound of one hand clapping.</span><br /></div>EmBeehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11724526923343865256noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-31104543.post-18371164476361776142009-02-18T17:56:00.000-08:002009-02-18T17:59:05.601-08:00Share what you know<span style="font-family:arial;">That whole hair in the bathroom soap thing prompted my son to show me this, so I thought I'd share it with you:</span><br /><br /><object width="425" height="344"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/4zxnzztCYbA&hl=en&fs=1"><param name="allowFullScreen" value="true"><param name="allowscriptaccess" value="always"><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/4zxnzztCYbA&hl=en&fs=1" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowscriptaccess="always" allowfullscreen="true" width="425" height="344"></embed></object>EmBeehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11724526923343865256noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-31104543.post-81667669139716317742009-02-18T12:26:00.000-08:002009-02-18T12:48:10.979-08:00Disgusting Chores*<span style="font-family: arial; font-style: italic;">*aside from the obvious, which includes things like scouring out toilets.</span><br /><br /><ul style="font-family: arial;"><li>Plucking my husbands <a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aAoJHGcolWw&feature=PlayList&p=AF360226A196327C&playnext=1&index=21">hairs out of the bar of soap</a> in the shower, before I wash my face.</li></ul><ul style="font-family: arial;"><li>Skinning raw chicken.</li></ul><ul style="font-family: arial;"><li>Removing the buildup of dog hair magnetized to the bottom of the legs on the kitchen chairs.</li></ul><ul style="font-family: arial;"><li>Removing wet hairy debris from the washing machines lint trap.</li></ul><ul style="font-family: arial;"><li>Applying warm compresses to the dogs butt that time she had the inflamed anal gland problem.</li></ul><span style="font-size:85%;"><span style="font-family: arial; font-style: italic;">Note: It's fairly predictable that most of the chores I find disgusting involve the removal of hair.</span><br /></span>EmBeehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11724526923343865256noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-31104543.post-76500552685987271112008-11-26T19:29:00.000-08:002008-11-26T19:42:55.311-08:00Vacation Day<span style="font-family:arial;">Husbands way of informing his fellow employees (by e-mail) he would be out of the office today...<br /><br />"Twenty-five years ago today I was in Newhall, California having rice thrown at me. I'm celebrating by taking the day off to remember it with my wife."<br /><br /></span><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh0KAgMIU_PvlGWzix7PD-X25l6vQiPDzmUspn0rhpDeb60A18IZGj1VaVtSCiP-jLaGcFqW3BfdcHuqOb347GQb5epn4VL5LHgf1lgDdqLnFQalihyGkW7b-mTnEf2o2NlcDG5MA/s1600-h/throwing+rice.jpg"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 210px; height: 320px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh0KAgMIU_PvlGWzix7PD-X25l6vQiPDzmUspn0rhpDeb60A18IZGj1VaVtSCiP-jLaGcFqW3BfdcHuqOb347GQb5epn4VL5LHgf1lgDdqLnFQalihyGkW7b-mTnEf2o2NlcDG5MA/s320/throwing+rice.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5273177501390100498" border="0" /></a><br /><span style="font-family:arial;"><br /></span>EmBeehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11724526923343865256noreply@blogger.com1