Accountability

When it comes to dieting, why is it that making myself accountable just isn't good enough?

Frankenstein?

Cousin Cathy C. says:
We each create our own Frankensteins and are therefore responsible for our own nightmares.

I'm still letting that particular notion spin around in my head for awhile.

Thanks Heloise!

If you heat a bowl of water with baking soda in it in the microwave it really does make the microwave easier to clean!

-She of the sparkling microwave oven

Where does the time go?

At the end of the day I wonder just what I did with all that time I had... Today I spent about 20 minutes cleaning my washing machine... Why does that sound like an exercise in futility to me?

Afloat...

This observation from my wise friend Melanie:

In life we are all afloat on our own little raft in a great wide sea... Alone on our raft we are at the mercy of the large waves that toss us about... However, we come upon others as we drift... And if we're wise we grab hold of one anothers rafts and others still... Until we are like a floating barge, and therefore better able to ride the waves together.

Observation from the Boardwalk...

They must pay people to walk around carrying those giant stuffed animals from the arcades... Because I never actually SEE anybody win one. But when my daughter SEES someone carrying armloads of the fuzzy creatures it stirs in her a need to throw away $1 bills... Specifically mine.

Prozac or Beer

My dog is terribly afraid of thunderstorms, the dark and just about everything else... The kid at the pet store said I should give her Beer in order to calm her.

My cousin says I should give her Puppy Prozac.

I'm trying to decide... Do I want my dog to become and Alcoholic or dependant on Drugs?

Too lazy to rinse off the knife?

Which is worse...

Getting jelly in the peanut butter jar?

or

Getting peanut butter in the jelly jar?

Wondering???

"How many coats of paint would it take to completely close in a room?"

- Lori W.

Hot!

Hot summer days are the best sleep inducer... But a Hot summer night can bring on a wicked case of insomnia... Go figure?

In the Know...

I'm not sure which is worse... A person who thinks they know EVERYTHING? Or someone who repeatedly apologizes for knowing NOTHING?

little vs. BIG

This morning I noticed a very small harmless bug picking his way across my bathroom floor... He seemed to be searching for a way out of the vast tile desert. My inital reaction was to crush him with a tissue and toss it in the trash... But then I took into account that he was so small and I am so BIG... It just didn't seem fair... I hope he found a way out of the tile desert... But I also hope he isn't a climber because I don't want him on my bed.

Dumb Dog

I put the dog food in a bowl... When the dog goes to eat she picks up a mouthful of food, spits it out on the floor and THEN eats it... What's THAT about?

Fishing

Is it kinder to catch a fish with a hook?... Or scoop it up in a giant net and toss it through the air onto a sandy shore?

(My daughter uses both methods.)

Etiquette

Do you suppose it might be rude to bang on the door of the school of hard knocks?

Ick!

How many times do you have to walk through a spider web (in the same location) before the spider says to himself, "Well Damn, THIS isn't working!"?

For obvious reasons...

Why do they sell low rise jeans in any size bigger than a 5?