It's All In The Packaging...

For Christmas I got my arthritic Mother-in-law this handy gadget to open those cursed heavy plastic packages... You know the ones? They mangle your scissors and leave shards of plastic the likes of which you could use to cut diamonds.

Dual Bladed EZ Clam Shell Opener

Plastic packaging has revolutionized the retail industry and these packages are everywhere. Now a revolutionary tool design is helping consumers catch up! The Dual Bladed EZ Clam Shell Opener makes opening those plastic packages safe and easy. But it also works great at opening a variety of other items! Great for: FedEx envelopes, shipping boxes, detergent boxes, pet food bags, padded envelopes, Jiffy packs, snack pouches and more! This is a smart tool for the home or office.


Wouldn't you know that the damn thing comes encased in a hard plastic, shrink wrapped case of its very own... WTF?

Where To Put It All?

I love me some presents but once the glow of all the gift giving has subsided I'm left with the task of finding a place to put all the new Stuff!

Compound that by 4 people and that's a lot of Stuff!

Maybe my post-Christmas wish will involve an addition on the house.

A Special Treat for Santa...

Yesterday, the local paper featured kids letters to Santa. In some cases reading the wish lists of little ones can be heartwarming. Other letters bring to mind two little words 'WRETCHED EXCESS'... But the letter I found most disturbing this year closed with the following promise.

"...And Santa, I promise to leave you some deer jerky and milk."

Not only does deer jerky seem like a BAD idea as an enjoyable treat for Santa, but... It's honestly gotta taste pretty nasty with MILK!

Here's another thought... What if Santa takes a real fancy to 'Deer Jerky'? The result could mean a lack of transportation for the old guy come next Christmas.

***Watch yer back Blitzen, Santa's got a gun and a hankerin' for some jerky!

Nanuk of the North

During the winter I rarely shave my legs.

I'm under the impression that somehow those sparse, coarse, dark hairs are helping to keep my legs warm.

Seems like a good enough excuse anyway.

Am I Covered?

Health Insurance is a Good Thing.
All the hoops one has to jump through to insure coverage is a major pain in the ass!

Scouring the Shower

Frankly, I find it absurd that something designed for cleanliness can get so freaking filthy!

Just get this whole thing Wrapped up, will ya?

$65 at WalMart for wrapping paper, tissue, ribbons and bows.

An estimated 4-5 hrs. of gift wrapping lay ahead of me. (Once all the gifts are shopped for, that is.)

Once the wrapping is completed ALL gifts MUST be hidden away in a closet or appropriate hidey-hole until Christmas. Then and ONLY then may the gifts be placed under the tree, according to husbands glorious plan.

1/2 hr. to hand out each carefully adorned, expensively wrapped gift and roughly 20 seconds to tear each package open.

For this I should have my head examined.