Pearls of Wisdom

From a single grain of sand an oyster may create a pearl.

Yeah, but you can bet if the oyster had the means to bitch about how incredibly irritating that grain of sand is, it sure as hell would let you know.

Tinted & Tainted

I don't trust people who drive cars with all the windows tinted black.
They always leave me wondering... What exactly, are they trying to hide?

Weight Control

Not that this is really true, but a friend sent me this and I thought it was funny...

I signed up for an excercise class and was told to wear loose fitting clothing. If I HAD any loose fitting clothing I wouldn't of signed up for the class in the first place.