Slacker?

I'm not going to delve into any deep religious issues here but I wanted to take a moment to point out the bumper sticker I saw today:

So am I to understand that it's important to 'LOOK BUSY' ie. give the appearance like you've BEEN doing the Lord's work, when in reality you've spent the better part of your life as a slack-ass... But NOW... Oh hey, looky there... Jesus just pulled up and he's gettin' ready to walk in the office and BOY is he going to be pissed when he finds you with your feet up on the desk, texting your BFF and taking extended coffee breaks, even though that 'Sacred Blessings' account is due tomorrow.

Here's an idea! How 'bout you do the job you're supposed to do, whether or not some all powerful entity is looking over your shoulder?

This Sure As Hell Ain't New York City or Milan Dahling

Woman spotted in town today wearing:

1. A Mullet hair-style pulled into a ponytail.
2. Oversize cut-off shorts.
3. Spongebob t-shirt.

Now that's class... Mid-Atlantic style.

Word Play

If you're the type who needs a cup of coffee to get moving each morning do you think that means your in for a .... Brewed Awakening?

Awesome Flame Shooting Mini-Van?

Or just some fancy sidewalk chalk artwork?
Thanks, Nature Girl... You make a Mom Van seem so cool!
Call me 'Ghost Rider'

Sassy Low Carb Treat

I buy the cheap store brand of low fat yogurt, in order to maintain a daily low carb count.

When I pry open the foil lid, every... single... time... the container spits yogurt on me.

I think it's the yogurts way of saying, "HA! Screw you... YOU have to eat yogurt!"

Misrepresentation*

*sorry guys, this one's for the girls.

I don't know why they call it a 'Hot Flash?' It's more like a slow building molten heat that radiates out from your very core.

A better term might be:

Hellfire Dance

or:

Lava Pop

or:

Bonfire Boil

or my personal favorite:

Everyone and Everything get the hell away from me, I'm gonna BLOW!

USPS - Giving you a little bit more

Postal rate went up again... Hooray!

The following is a list of stamps I currently have on hand:
1 - 1 cent
2 - 20 cent
16 - 39 cent
56 - 42 cent
7 - Forever stamps

In the past week I've used just about EVERY combination of stamps you can imagine.
1-42 + 2-1's (until I ran out of all the 1's except for that last one.)
2-39's (until I found that sleeve of 20's)
2-42's (until I found that roll of 39's)
1-39 + 1-20

I've used EVERYTHING BUT the Forever stamps... Because you know, they're gonna be good FOREVER!
And here's another thought... How come computer keyboards don't have a 'cents' symbol?