Marriage Advice.... Really?

How is it?
Why is it?

Alec Baldwin is on a show giving marriage advice?

Didn't he go through one of the nastiest divorces in Hollywood?

Thanks Alec, but I'll pass, I think you're a douche.

Dontcha' Hate It...

When you're trying to peel the price tag off of an item and despite your futile attempts at digging and picking the only part that remains is the portion with the price written on it?

Dressed to impress?

How come Mickey wears shorts without a shirt (And what's with the gloves, is he some kind of germaphobe?)...
And Donald gets a shirt but NO pants? What's that about? No wonder he's pissed!

Looking in the wrong direction

When I beep the horn 'politely' at the person sitting in front of me at a light, who doesn't seem to notice said light has changed to green... Why, I'd like to ask, does the person in front of me, first look in their rear view mirror at me BEFORE they step on the damn gas and get a move on?

Slacker?

I'm not going to delve into any deep religious issues here but I wanted to take a moment to point out the bumper sticker I saw today:

So am I to understand that it's important to 'LOOK BUSY' ie. give the appearance like you've BEEN doing the Lord's work, when in reality you've spent the better part of your life as a slack-ass... But NOW... Oh hey, looky there... Jesus just pulled up and he's gettin' ready to walk in the office and BOY is he going to be pissed when he finds you with your feet up on the desk, texting your BFF and taking extended coffee breaks, even though that 'Sacred Blessings' account is due tomorrow.

Here's an idea! How 'bout you do the job you're supposed to do, whether or not some all powerful entity is looking over your shoulder?

This Little Light of Mine...

The 'Check Engine' light in my van lit up this weekend.

Today I took it to be serviced. I announced to the attendant that the 'Money' light came on.
"The money light?" he said.
"Yes" I replied, "But I believe you folks refer to it as the 'Check Engine' light."
He laughed.

They just called to inform me that the van needed $600 worth of parts and service.

Why don't they name dashboard lights more accordingly?

Paying More... Getting Less!

The photo above depicts a bar of soap, freshly out of the box, missing... Oh, what would you say?... Roughly a 1/4 of the bar? Why would I take a picture of it? Because this bar of soap is the third out of a 3 bar package that's missing such a large degree of what I paid for.

I think I'm going to send this photograph to the makers of 'Irish Spring' ie. Colgate/Palmolive Company and ask them WTF? Because even though we're talking about pennies here, I certainly don't feel I got what I paid for.

3 BARS!... 3 Freakin' BARS!!!

Wait, here's another shot...

Foreshadowing?

I did a double take when I read this in the paper Today - April 14, 2008...


Now I'm all for careful preparation AND being a complete control freak, maybe there's some sense to the idea, but c'mon? Letting everyone know you're going to die in 2 days time seems a little extreme... And what if you don't end up following through? Oh the pressure of having to get all your shit together before leaving this life in a mere 48 hrs. or so.

Why you walkin' so funny?

You know when you're walkin' along... You're in a public place... Surrounded by people... And you suddenly experience a sharp pain... A pain strong enough to bring tears to the corner of your eyes... And you come to the realization that somehow, some way a stray hair.... Uh, Down There... moved itself into a position that with each step you take it feels like it's being held by a pair of tweezers yet just won't break loose of the very tender spot by which it's attached?

So you know how you try to adjust your stride, so the hair might also readjust itself and therefore relieve you of such searing pain?... But then you realize that now you're walking like a cowboy after a long ride across the prairie... And you KNOW you're not a cowboy and the other people around you with their brows knitted in wonder at your rather odd gait, are also, most likely aware, you're NOT a cowboy.

Then, you know how you realize you're probably making a bigger spectacle of yourself with the walking thing, than you would if you just reached down and made a quick adjustment?... But you're continually surrounded by all these people at the grocery store and no matter WHAT, you've got to make a move because the discomfort is building to a level much stronger than the embarrassment you may endure if you don't go for the readjustment SOON! So with a quick glance around and a prayer that everyone is more interested in their bread selection you reach down in one quick motion and make an adjustment.

So.... Did I mention I went grocery shopping today?

It's All In The Packaging...

For Christmas I got my arthritic Mother-in-law this handy gadget to open those cursed heavy plastic packages... You know the ones? They mangle your scissors and leave shards of plastic the likes of which you could use to cut diamonds.

Dual Bladed EZ Clam Shell Opener

Plastic packaging has revolutionized the retail industry and these packages are everywhere. Now a revolutionary tool design is helping consumers catch up! The Dual Bladed EZ Clam Shell Opener makes opening those plastic packages safe and easy. But it also works great at opening a variety of other items! Great for: FedEx envelopes, shipping boxes, detergent boxes, pet food bags, padded envelopes, Jiffy packs, snack pouches and more! This is a smart tool for the home or office.


Wouldn't you know that the damn thing comes encased in a hard plastic, shrink wrapped case of its very own... WTF?