Misrepresentation*

*sorry guys, this one's for the girls.

I don't know why they call it a 'Hot Flash?' It's more like a slow building molten heat that radiates out from your very core.

A better term might be:

Hellfire Dance

or:

Lava Pop

or:

Bonfire Boil

or my personal favorite:

Everyone and Everything get the hell away from me, I'm gonna BLOW!

USPS - Giving you a little bit more

Postal rate went up again... Hooray!

The following is a list of stamps I currently have on hand:
1 - 1 cent
2 - 20 cent
16 - 39 cent
56 - 42 cent
7 - Forever stamps

In the past week I've used just about EVERY combination of stamps you can imagine.
1-42 + 2-1's (until I ran out of all the 1's except for that last one.)
2-39's (until I found that sleeve of 20's)
2-42's (until I found that roll of 39's)
1-39 + 1-20

I've used EVERYTHING BUT the Forever stamps... Because you know, they're gonna be good FOREVER!
And here's another thought... How come computer keyboards don't have a 'cents' symbol?

Ode to the Avocado

Avocado, Oh!
Oh Avocado, Oh!
Oh, how I love your glorious green deliciousness.
I'm especially fond of you mashed with seasoning and served up on a tortilla chip!
Oh Guacamole, Oh!
But I'd better eat it all up in one sitting, or I'm left with a dreadful black mess.
Eww Avocado, Ewwwwwww!

Which house is yours?

Oh, my house?
I'm sorry to say it's the 'poor white trash' looking one...
You know, the one with the grass up to your knees?
Hey, don't blame me, it hasn't stopped raining long enough for it to become even remotely dry enough to mow.

Mow it anyway, you say?
Yesterday I read the following:

"You never want to mow wet grass the blades will pull instead of cutting. This will cause a fungus in certain grass species which will be very costly not to mention running the risk of the whole lawn dying as the fungus spreads."

Gee thanks, mikeyandworm @ Yahoo Answers

This place is starting to look like the Boo Radley house.... Freakin' RAIN!